from out of darkness
by she.wolf.phoenix
Summary: Alice sits in her home, painting. suddenly a thought crosses her mind and she shudders. she remembers how she discovered her past and how she was like bella once tormented by James in his quest to turn her...and how she found her Jasper.
1. Chapter 1

I never remembered what life was like when I was human. I guess the memories were just too weak to leave any lasting impression on my brain. Looking back to that day in the meadow with my family I remember those words he said. They cut through me like a knife.

"lovely to see you again Alice" he whispers, desire dripping through his voice.

I was so confused. How did he know me? Thos violent scarlet eyes and that twisted smile that seemed so evil. It was then that I remembered. James. His was the only face I remembered from being human. It was emblazoned on my memory like venom in a human. Excruciating pain ripped through my mind. And I knew I had somewhere to start. If a face like his was able to create such emotional eruptions from my otherwise blank memory I needed to find out more. He looked at me with such lust. Not in the way he looked at the red head, Victoria but bloodlust.

I didn't understand then, but I do now. Sitting in my room with my painting easel at the open window I sighed. Leaning into the comfortable cushion I smiled. And remembered how I figured it out.

................................................................................................................................

I was sixteen when I first saw him. His dark, almost black eyes were perfect, his face was narrow yet gentle. He was only a painting but I knew that if I found him one day I would love him helplessly and unconditionally. I looked at the name plate on the frame and smiled.

'Major Jasper - - - - -'

The rest of the name was smudged from many women admiring him. There was a look too old for his young face. His eyes were hard to look into but I saw a sadness in them as if they were empty and longed for a future that would not claim his life. I would spend hours just looking at his face in the art gallery. My family had to drag me away from it some days.

After one particular day of sitting and looking at the face of the man I loved it happened for the first time. My sister was sitting next to me bored stiff. She had brought her favourite book with her and she sighed noisily as I gazed. Pulling out of my trance I turned to her.

"I am sorry. I didn't mean to. I just"

"-can't help it, I know. If mother catches you here again she will ask the guards not to let you in again you do know that."

I smiled demurely at her. For some reason I had a feeling that I was safe for today from her but I also know that a very important man would talk to me today. I had seen him several times watching me from the corner. He seemed as fixated on me as I was on jasper's painting.

"Mother won't bother me today, little sister. You go on home and I will see you in a few short hours."

My sister pushed herself off the chair next to me and padded silently homeward. I smiled contented once more to be almost alone with my man. He approached me then. Silently. I also didn't realise he was there until I heard him call my name.

"Alice" he whispered into my ear "you are a fascinating woman"

I looked slightly flushed (I could blush in those days) into his almost black eyes. I thought I saw a tinge of red in them but I brushed it aside. I was seeing all sorts of colours from starring at paintings all afternoon.

"Thank you sir but I am not yet seventeen. I will not yet be a woman until I turn twenty-one"

"Such a rich beautiful voice for one so young as well. Can you sing Miss Alice?"

"A little" I replied "I am not much of a musician I am afraid. The piano escapes my fingers most of the time. But I am able to paint. Mama says I do it too much and I will hurt my eyes for detail but I can't help it."

"I doubt you can, you eyes see so much young Alice. May I walk you home" he said slowly getting up.

I placed my hand on his outstretched arm.

"Oh I am silly; I do not yet know your name sir."

"My name is James miss Alice. James Perez"

"Lovely to meet you Mr Perez"

"And lovely to finally meet you Miss Alice"

I never asked how he knew my name. And I didn't care then. Everything seemed to be perfect that day. I was looking at my perfect prince charming, and then my real life prince charming talks to me. With his dark deep eyes and his narrow yet kind face.

How wrong I was, how silly, how stupid.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Things came back to me in flashes. Just images or sounds. They would suddenly flood my head like uncontrollable images. I didn't understand them at first. Then suddenly one day i understood. Bella was still in the middle of her change, the muffled groans of Edward's anguish were audible even through three floors. Rosalie was hunting with Emmet and Carlisle. It had taken them days to convince her, finally she agreed after trying to take a bite out of Jacob. I was holding the baby. She was dozing in my arms. Those beautiful curls and gentle features that made everyone fall in love with her were prominent even then. She had so much of her mother in her; it made me smile to see Bell almost sleeping in my arms. The tiny girl's eyes opened suddenly and she started reaching for my face as she so often did as a sign of hello. Gently raising her higher, towards my face I smiled.

"What do you want to show me Nessie?" I cooed

As her hand touched my skin I saw it. His face, James, and his smile. Then another flash. A room in a dark corridor with a small barred window facing the sun, a small terrified girl huddling in the corner hiding from the light. I could hear the frantic hissing escaping her small lips and her terrified scarlet eyes. This girl was a vampire, a new-born. Pulling Reneseme away from me I asked her who the girl was and how she know her. She answered again in her individual way. The face shocked me beyond the change. Her now amber eyes looked straight into my own. Her short dark hair was styled just like mine and she wore the same charcoal waistcoat and purple shirt as I was wearing. Before I knew it I was screaming Edward's name. He came running up the stairs.

"What is it? Is everything alright? Alice talk to me. Is there something wrong with Reneseme?" his questions came out in a fast jumble but i got every single one of them.

"Nothing's wrong" I said placing his daughter into his arms. "Reneseme just showed me something extraordinary that's all"

I paced the floor quickly as I thought of how to put it. I smiled watching Nessie place her hand on her father's face to say hello, and watching with adoration as he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. They conversed in silence for a few minutes as I gathered my thoughts.

"You know how Nessie uses her gift to show people things? Her way of communicating? " Edward nodded with a smile "And you know I don't know anything about my life as a human, that i don't remember anything before the change?" another nod this time he looked slightly worried.

"Alice your thoughts are going crazy, slow down"

"I can't my head is spinning. Nessie just showed me, me as a new-born"

Silence

"How could she have done that Edward if I don't know anything about it myself? I mean it's fascinating. If she can see me as I was as a new-born then maybe i can find out stuff about my human life!"

Edwards face fell. I could see the decision to help me so I was not worried about the thought process in his mind. Finally looking up he smiled faintly.

"I let her help you don't I?"

I nodded. I was so happy that I had something more to work with. I had a place and a person. Just before I stopped Nessie's images I saw a sign. Maybe a clue that would help explain my gift and many other things from my human life that were erased when James bit me and tasted my then warm, salty blood...

**'Asylum for the insane'**

Jasper walked in the room with his usual stealth, his eyes focused on me with that adorable small side smile I saw every day. His eyes narrowed as he felt my mood.

"Angel, what's wrong" he murmured as more of a statement rather than a question, in his velvet accent I loved so much. "Have you lost your sight again?"

Jasper was almost as uncomfortable with my lack of 'vision' as I was. It made him uneasy to see me so blind.

"Oh don't worry Jasper, it's nothing like that. I've just seen something I've never seen before that's all"

Jasper started pacing the living room floor, looking worried once more.

"Jazz" Edward soothed "calm down, you're making us all feel uneasy"

"Sorry Edward, what did u see?" He asked me earnestly.

"Nothing much really, just, well, it was Nessie that showed me, I saw me... My past"

...

Nessie and I were almost inseparable from then on. Rosalie would feed her and then we would do the four times daily measurements, then she would ask for me. We were having little success with only the same images appearing in my mind and her's. Jasper suggested that a change of scene might be good for us, so away we went, into the forest. The little spider monkey clinging onto my back as we spun leapt and danced from tree to tree trying to find a peaceful place. Higher and higher up the mountains we climbed until the trees disappeared and we rested on a small summit of one of the mountains. The snow was still lingering I the air as it always did up here. I would smell the flakes in the air, all the pollution in the air below no longer assaulted my nose and the low lying clouds looked almost tangible enough to step on. The town beneath us was obscured by the trees and mists rolling off, down the mountain.

"This seems like the perfect place" visioned Nessie into my head.

Nodding I gracefully lowered myself onto the floor and we began as we had always done. Deep breaths tasting the air around us, trying to create the same mental situation I had done accidentally when she first showed me my past.

"I don't know what to try Nessie" I said out loud " I was thinking about everything your sleeping mother has been through to get here, and James slipped into my mind, then the scars on her wrist, and then -"

Suddenly it hit me like a fist into the chest. Images, sounds, tastes, love, laughter, his rough hands, and dirty fingernails... Dirty fingernails. The pain around my throat was excruciating, I could feel every one of his fingers tightening around my then soft and brittle flesh, then the sharp agony of his teeth sinking into my neck then another on my wrists then the fire, and darkness. Burning... Burning... Burning...

Nessie fell from my arms as I fell backwards into the drift of snow behind me. With all my might I called to her.

"Get- Jasp-" my teeth grinding as I tried to control my body and to expel the flames that now consumed my existence.

She didn't understand and in her fear Nessie started crying, her high pitched cries carrying through the atmosphere...

...

Jacob was lazily lying on the porch in world form enjoying a short nap when his sharp ears picked up the cry only a tenth of a second before Edward appeared beside him.

_Can you tell?_

"It's Alice" Edward answered to Jacob's panicked voice. "Something's wrong"

Just as the words escaped his lips Jasper was there his dark eyes, looking for danger.

"The wolves?"

Jacob growled quietly as if to say 'come on', but Edward only shook his head.

Jasper took a long breath to taste the atmosphere, closed his eyes and concentrated. Whilst Edward explained, that Jasper was feeling for Alice Jacob quickly called for Seth and Leah, telling them to run checks for any breaches.

Jasper's face buckled under the pain rolling off Alice's emotions and he staggered.

"Quickly" Edward gasped as he was the only one with the strength for some control "we have to get there fast."

He then turned to face Jasper who was gripping the porch with his hang slowly crushing the support beam with his clenching fist. Taking his left hand he struck Jasper across the face.

"Snap out of it Jazz!" He growled menace in his voice

Jasper fell back onto his feet. Bracing his face he nodded.

"They're on the half way summit on that mountain -" he gasped catching himself "this way"

He set off as fast as his legs could carry him with Edward and Jacob closely following. Jacob's nose quickly caught the scent of Nessie and he sped off ahead of the others, reaching them a few seconds before. He had Nessie on his back he hand on his face telling him that had happened. He winced as he saw what had happened. Looking carefully at my body lying in the snow he frowned at the small crack that was creeping across my face.

"It's the change" muttered Edward. "She's remembering. Jesus -"

He couldn't finish. He read and saw everything that was going through my mind. Suddenly his eyes focused.

"She can hear us" he whispered

"Alice? Alice!" Growled Jasper "I'm not going to lose you! You will come out of this!"

His voice sounded weak, cracking with upset, as he clung to his love's hand, which felt unusually warm.

"Edward-" he stammered "she's warm"

Quick as a flash Edward picked me up and with Jasper and Jacob ran back towards the house. Placing my unsettlingly limp body on the settee in the living room he called for Carlisle.

After cooling my skin with cold towels Carlisle could think of nothing else to do. Nessie was taken upstairs for a nap in Rosalie's arms.

Everything was fuzzy but I felt like I was getting clear of the pain, my gritted teeth loosened and a scream escaped my lips. Terror, and pain ripped through me for the last time as my mind became clear. I opened my eyes to the scared faces of my vampire family.

"That was interesting" I chimed, hopping off the settee as if nothing had happened "I just want to see how Bella is doing"

With that I danced up the stairs to shocked faces, one face followed me with daggers in his eyes. He knew I was lying. Jasper had felt everything, and I would explain everything to him later.

As I rounded the corner I slumped against the wall, my eyes prickling with heat for the tears that would never come. Straightening up I looked in the mirror across the hall the crack in my face was crumbling away. I looked back to normal. Sitting at Bella's bed-side I looked at her peaceful form, only now was I well aware of the agony she was going through, all by choice. I found myself admiring her even more, her strength and her passion. But niggling away at me in the back of my mind was envy, now I understood Rosalie's misgivings about them in the beginning, unlike Rose and now myself, Bella had, had a choice...

She was lucky that her choice had led her here, and that her family were waiting for her in anticipation. Looking at her face I saw a flicker of a grimace pass her brow. And I placed my cool hand on her forehead.

"Stay strong Bella, I'll be waiting" I muttered.

I was so deep in thought I didn't notice Jasper standing by the door shadowed by Edward.

"This thing she's doing, looking for her past is dangerous Edward. I'm losing her, I know it"

"Only if you let it Jazz. Why do u think that once she was changed all her visions were of you? She loved you even then. Don't let this come between you. It can make you stronger if you let it"

I smiled as I heard Edward's words of reassurance to my love. Edward was right, Jasper was the only thing I saw, and I now had an idea of why...

My short human life was cut so, by a vicious monster who craved my blood, and the only way I survived because of someone else. There was another vampire there. Someone stopped him... Another vampire saved me, and I needed to find them...

And for that I needed Jasper's help.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

As vampires we do not sleep, but we do need to rest sometimes. These experiences affected me physically in ways I could never have imagined. The remembrance of my change made my skin more sensitive, and the forgotten scars on my skin stood out, so even the keen eyes of Carlisle looked at me shocked.

I had a mixture of old and newer marks that made themselves more pronounced after the incident in the mountains.

I didn't even notice until one evening a few days later when jasper and I spent a night alone, just before Bella woke...

...

Jasper said goodnight to everyone as he put his arms around me. Walking in step we seemed to dance towards the tree, he made me smile by twirling me just as we reached the shadow of the conifers. Just as we entered the privacy of the trees jasper stopped and took me in both hands.

"You will tell me everything won't you?" He whispered as he kissed my forehead.

"Of course love" I replied "as soon as I know you will"

"Ok... In the mountains you were really hurt, don't lie to me I could feel your fear and pain- you remember how he did it now don't you, not just that it was him but how"

I nodded mutely unable to trust my voice.

"I know you will tell me when you're ready"

I slipped onto my tip toes to kiss his mouth gently. I know he could feel the love radiating off me at that moment so saying the words wasn't needed.

"Let's go home" I muttered pulling my fingers through his rough curled hair.

He smiled cheekily, holding out his arms he grinned.

"Your carriage awaits my lady"

Leaping into his arms I held round his neck like a damsel would her prince charming, jasper lightly leapt high into the trees, into the canopy. Stopping for a second to swing into the right direction. Within moments we were home.

Another house designed by Esme for her 'children'. It fitted Jasper and me completely. It stood supported by the old evergreens that made the corner supports all the way to the ground over 30 feet below us. The 'tree house' was deceptively small. The basic cabin was for us just a place to relax and get away from the rest of the family; my closet was my room in the main house, but Jasper always like the idea of his own homestead with his woman, as was customary from his human life. The single storey homestead was as basic as you could make except for the electricity. The main room consisted of a very large wooden carves bed with numerous cushions piled in the corners surrounded by books, with the rocking chair Jasper made me the first time we got married by the fireplace. A copper bathtub with lion moulded feet surrounded by an intricately painted screen stood at the other end of the room. The veranda ran the entire circumference of the homestead with swing chairs and ivy coverings. The house was well disguised amongst the trees, which were expertly cut to hide the base of the house completely. This was our little piece of heaven, our own tower, our own tiny kingdom. There were no ceremonies here, no calls for politeness with our gifts.

Jasper sighed letting his empathic guard down as I rubbed my temple in an attempt to ease the tension in my head. Kicking off my fabulous heels (4 and a half inch high ballet pumps that made my feet look as if they were on point) and twirled into my pile of silk cushions in my corner. I just loved the seemingly smooth feel of silk, if I didn't concentrate on the fabric I could feel the fabric as I was a human, perfect and almost like water under my fingers. Jasper went into the box at the end of the bed, and pulled out his knife and a block of wood. He loved to sit in the rocking chair looking into the fire feeling for the animal or object waiting to be found within the grain. His hands seemingly moving without his knowledge. The slivers of wood he moved were so slight that the object seemed to just materialize from dust. Another deer to add to the held that settles on the deep ledges of the windowsills. Each one slightly different, with their own faces and personalities. It was this care for detail which made me fall for him again every day.

"Hungry?" Jasper said as he felt the pangs emanate from my subconscious

"We'll be back in minutes" I said quietly smiling

"And what will we be catching today" he asked amusement in his voice

"Elk" I grinned, sniffing the air jasper realized why I knew we would be back quickly. There was a small hers of elk in the forrest underneath our home. It was literally the vampiric version of fast food.

The poor animals really had no hope, we swept onto the veranda and leapt into the air letting gravity pull us down onto our unknowing victims. My elk didn't struggle much, as my strong hands snapped her neck almost instantaneously, and Jasper fared pretty much the same. After the other deer scattered and we drank our fill jasper stripped the carcass for the fur and I pulled out my cell phone.

"Jake?" I said when he picked up

"Alice"

"Hungry?"

"Thanks"

That was all that was needed. The elk would lie there til first dark then in the morning they would be gone courtesy of the wolves.

Climbing back home took no time either. And lying on the bed I closed my eyes listening to the forest around me. In my quiet reverie I tried to think back to what had happened in the mountains, but the memory of the physical pain was even too much as an echo. In the distance I heard the sound of running water and I smiled. Jasper had run me a bath. He knew that I loved to bathe in hot water after eating. Darting behind the carved screen I undressed and stepped into the water. I inhaled the scent of the water and steam filled my nostrils. Within a few seconds Jasper had slid into the tub behind me. Grabbing the sponge from the small table he soaked it and began rubbing my back. I could feel the stress of earlier crumble away. I relaxed feeling his touch against my skin as his fingers traced interesting patterns across my skin.

"Oh Alice" he murmured

"Mmmm?"

"What did they do to you" his voice was such a growl that I was shocked out of my stasis.

"What?" I asked "what did who do to me? Jazz I'm fine"

"Your back-" he chocked "so many scars"

His eyes saw something I didn't remember, my skin was covered in the crisscross patterns of lashing wounds not left to heal, burn marks from the electric shock treatment. And my neck had a ring from restraints circling its base. My eyes widened as jasper described them to me looking at my own arms and writs I saw even more evidence of my violent demise. On my wrists were rings from rope burns and cuts into the skin from manacles, across my arms were the same burn marks from electrodes and several bite marks were also visible both human and vampire. I gasped trying to breathe with the panic in my head. What did I go through? Who cared so little for me to put me there to go through this physical pain.

Trying to gulp down air I did not need I fell into another vision of my past...

...

There I was again in the gallery sitting looking and my Jasper's painting. My hair was long and falling far beyond my shoulders in gentle waves. My dress on this day was simple, a pale green to match my unusually bright eyes. My pale skin like porcelain flushed slightly as I saw him enter the gallery and sit beside me.

"Miss Alice" he purred making my cheeks flush ruby red

"Mr. Perez lovely to see you again"

He kissed my hand his lingering almost too long over my skin.

"What brings a lady like you indoors on a lovely sunny day like this?" He asked politely

"I don't like to walk in the park when its busy, I can see too many things I'm not meant-" I stopped mid-sentence. I hoped he hadn't gotten my actual meaning and that he just took it as I was generally curious and I didn't want to be nosey "it's not appropriate for a young lady" I finished.

Slowly he sat next to me and leant close inhaling the smell of my hair. Startled I sprang from him.

"Sir!" I exclaimed "what do you think you are doing, that is not appropriate for a young man and lady who have not been chaperoned by an adult. If you wish to court me, then you mush talk with my parents. Now I bid you good-day" and with a spin on my heels I turned around and left him there a sly smirk sliding across his pale face.

Walking quickly I knocked into people without taking care of where I went I walked straight into the park across the street. Sighing I tried to calm myself, and I settled under a tree for shade. Looking around me I relaxed letting my mind wander.

Suddenly I had this horrible feeling about the cart crossing in front of me. A sickening feeling in my stomach made me feel as if something was going to go seriously wrong. Unknowingly I cried out a few seconds before it started.

One of the wheels came lose and the horses spooked. Screaming they barreled towards the nearest tree to get free of the contraption that bound them. The passengers, a mother and her 2 daughters were screaming as the driver was unable to control the horses. The carriage crashed into the tree and the noise suddenly stopped. That dead silence was the worst thing I ever heard. The foreboding and pain that ripped across my body was so terrible that I shuddered and collapsed on against the ground with a soft thud. No one noticed me until the doctor had covered up the bodies of the mother and one of her girls. The older one was carried away in a seemingly unconscious state. I opened my eyes to a doctor looking me in the eyes and waving smelling salts under my nose.

"Miss, miss" he asked "did you faint from the commotion?" It was then he noticed the red marks on my face, identical to the wounds of the victims. He looked at me sternly. Then he shook his head. Stepping away as fast as he could he pointed at me and called for the police.


End file.
